Any Day Now

Well, I had another appointment today and sis R got to see a sonogram. We saw everything but his face since he is facing my back and he's pretty far down apparantly. The OB figured that Arik weighs about 5 lbs 5 oz right now. He measures about 11 days behind where a typical 36 weeker would. I was really hoping to hear something around 7lbs today so I could beg for the pitocin. My weight was 140 which is +12lbs from pre pregnancy. I am dialated to 1.5 cm and baby's head is way down but my cervix is way posterior which pretty much just means that its really hard for them to check dialation since its hard to reach. Not fun for me if you can imagine.

So since I am dialating we are just mainly waiting for contractions to start and then we will head to labor and delivery. It may not be for a few days, I dont know if I really feel like today is the day. Someone send me good contraction vibes though cause I want my baby out now. :)

Sweet Summer

Well my sister R, has been staying with us for over a week now. I think she is supremely bored. We have a pool here at the apartment and we let her go there whenever she wants. But R has a tan that is super dark already when she got up here. Do I think she needs more sun? No way! The girl is dark. Sun loves her. Since there is nothing much else my super pregnant butt can do with her, I guess she just gets to go to the pool and play with Aidan most of the time.

I went to the OB today, like usual (I am there twice a week for NSTs) and the midwife was checking the heart monitor...She was on the phone and looked at the paper, then stepped out of the room and I heard her say something about scheduling an induction. I didnt know if she was talking about me or not, but I was really hoping. She mentioned to me the next time she came in that I was having contractions and asked me if I felt them...well duh! They were just the Braxton Hicks, but they are still uncomfortable and annoying, not really painful. The monitor has little numbers that gage how strong the cntx is and we think the highest it got was around 30 out of 100 I think. I saw on the monitor that Arik was really active as soon as I got on there, but then he went to sleep. So the MW buzzed me twice to wake him up and he moved a little but pretty much just kept sleeping. Then she took me off the monitor and to an exam room to be checked. I am dialated to one whole cm, which is definitely not much. She said that if I do go into labor now that they wont try to stop me so that is cool. I can totally be happy with going anytime now.

I have an appointment for a sonogram and another NST appointment for Tuesday so maybe we'll be closer to delivery then. We'll see!! Looks like this weekend I will be nesting and making sure the crib gets put up and stuff is more ready.

Here is a fabulous shot of me in my swim suit last Friday. Looking large! The nurses at the OB tell me I dont look 35 weeks pregnant. And I am totally getting rid of that bikini after this too cause its just not me. I thought it would cover a little of my belly, but its more like a tablecloth as my wonderful husband put it.

Well now I need to figure out what we are going to do for fun tonight cause we tried the water park and it was annoying and the pool here is closed today cause they cant figure out the acid balance, so we need to find something to keep the kids entertained.

Alone is over shortly

Another NST today. It went well. Arik was awake enough today. I did get fortunate enough to talk to one of the nurses I like and it turns out that she is a scrapbooker. So she invited me to a party she is having soon. I am so glad to get opportunities to make friends. The nurse is old enough that her husband is retired, but I think she rocks and I just love scrapbooking friends no matter what age they are. I never find any my age anyway.

Anthony's brother and best friend are on their way here from Kansas and should be here within a few hours. Then my mom and sisters are coming late tonight to arrive here early tomorrow morning. They are bringing Aidan back with them. I am glad Aidan will be back cause I miss him all the time he is gone, but I was glad for the little break. I acutally went into the post office alone today and it was nice.
Anthony and I also had a nice fun evening last night. Can't tell you the details, but it was good! We aren't going to get many nights alone for some time, so if one comes along, you gotta do what you gotta do! :)

Next friday is Anthony's birthday and I still have to figure out what to get him.
Wow, I just have a super boring life today. Everyone will be here shortly so I guess I am off to do some minor cleaning and maybe a short nap if I am lucky. I can't believe how full the apartment will be in just a few hours. Its quite a change from the usualness of just the 3 of us. We are glad for the company though since we have no friends up here in IL yet.

Have to share this

I took this picture yesterday when we were at the pool and I think its my new favorite pic. I just love my guys!!

The Next Step

Well a ton of people have told me that they think my scrapbooking rocks and that I should try to get it published or try to get on a Design Team. So today I am going searching for my next step in my creative outlet. I have been dreaming of getting published or making a living off of my favorite hobby since I started putting pictures on paper. So everyone keep your fingers crossed for me that I will find a place that will think I have potential and add me to their team or magazine pages! I have thought about applying and trying to get published somewhere for a while, but never really found anyplace yet that I felt I could be comfortable. My pessimistic outlook is now on the back burner and I am holding my head high and confident that I can make it out there now. LOL.

Also in the next step in our family life, I have sorted thru all of Aidan's old baby clothes and blankets and I have started washing everything. The crib and carseat are being brought up here from Kansas this weekend too. Anthony's best friend and little brother are coming to hang with us for the weekend. Its going to be a full house here in a few days.

And last but not least, my sisters and my mom will be here this weekend and my youngest sister Richelle will be staying for about 3 weeks. She is going to help out a lot with Aidan while I finish growing his little brother. Then Hannah gets to come stay with me in July and she will be here to drive us to the hospital if I go into labor while Anthony is at work and she can drive me to doctor appointments when I can't fit behind the wheel anymore. I am so lucky to have great sisters that want to spend time with me and their nephew. If they didnt want to be here and help out, I just dont know what I would do without them.

Aidan is back in Kansas for the week and he will come back with his YaYa and his aunts on Saturday so I have the week off and I am completely bored. It was great to go to the NST today and not have to scold him to sit still while we listen to baby brothers heart, but now that I am home, I have no one to play with or entertain.

But I think I will start relaxing soon, and preparing myself for the full house that I will have this weekend. I better find somewhere for everyone to sleep and get all the blankets out and the house cleaned. And sure I will be able to relax somewhere in between doing all that.

And here is a little glimpse of the wonderful proof that summer is here! YAY! I love summer!!

I hate you too Monday

Apparantly Mondays hate me. I have been nauseaus the past 2 Mondays plus today. Its like my body doesnt want to get up and face the new week. I got sick this morning after taking my thyroid pill so I am dragging all day since I dont think it all stayed down.

The 3rd trimester pains of heartburn and acid reflux are really killing me now too. How insane is it to be awakened at 6 am every morning to a burning sensation in your throat and general uncomfortableness? I didnt get up in the middle of the night and eat anything to be causing heartburn at 6am. I got up and peed, but I'm sure there was no eating or drinking involved there. I may have taken a swig of water that I keep next to the bed to take my meds with in the morning, but is water supposed to cause heartburn?

Had another NST today and passed. I thought it was funny that he got hiccups while we were monitoring, but the other woman doing her NST didnt look amused. The OB gave me a script for heartburn meds and said see you in a few days. I already hate the 2 a week NSTs.
Pointless visit to the ENT #7 was completed today also. I sware I just show up to look pretty and give them an excuse to bill the insurance. I went in, she said my incision looked good and then she felt my neck and we were done. At least I dont have to go back till August now. I bet thats just an excuse to see the new baby too.

I sware with one thing after another popping up, we are never going to have the credit to buy a house or even trade in our cars when they get bad enough. I wish our bank account would just magically fill up. No more stress and no more bad health. That should be a daily equation. -stress * -bad health = +$$ Does that work?

5 things

Since I am not in the loop enough to get tagged or even know if I am getting tagged, I am tagging myself and doing the 5 things for myself.

For your entertainement:
5 Things in my FRIDGE:
* Cheesecake Snack Packs
* Baby Carrots
* Strawberry Milk syrup
* Bottled Water
* Ensure

5 Things in my CLOSET:
* Wedding dress
* Winter clothes
* Wedding decorations
* Tub of shoes
* Tub of pack rat stuff

5 Things in my PURSE:
* 8 different lipglosses
* Pregnancy calender
* Antibacterial hand gel
* Latest ultrasound pics
* Bottle of nailpolish

5 Things in my CAR:
* Cell phone charger
* Bottled Water
* Maps of the towns here
* Trash
* Babywipes

5 Things on my TIVO:
* Law and Order: SVU
* Ellen DeGeneres
* Season Finale of ER
* Series Finale of Will and Grace
* Series Finale of That 70s Show

Stress Test

I went for my first Non Stress Test yesterday. I was hooked up to those nice belts for about an hour and listened to Arik's heartbeat. The doctor seemed satisfied with the heartrate of moving and not moving. HE even used a buzzer to try to wake Arik up, but I think it just freaked him out and he moved away from the heart monitor and didnt move for a while.

I am a little upset that I have to go twice a week. The insurance company definitely hates me now. I have a feeling that since they consider me "high risk" that they are going to get frustrated with me and induce me early. That may not be such a bad thing cause I think I want to get this pregnancy over with as soon as its safe. I am hoping that I can pick my due date then. It would be great to know when I will get to see my baby.

I also saw the endocrinologist again yesterday. Those appointments seem so pointless and expensive to me. He did give me two months worth of my thyroid meds. We'll see what they say when they get my blood reports back.

I also made a collage last night. We have had this 18x24 frame for months now and I finally felt creative enough to put something in it. Plus I got free big prints of my wedding pics from Snapfish. They didnt turn out as bad as I expected since I had only a small file uploaded. But here is the finished product.

Hump Day/My TV addiction

Yeah, right.
Sunday night I got absolutely no sleep, and then I got sick Monday afternoon for no known reason other than probable bad BBQ Beef. Being 31 weeks pregnant I refuse to blame morning sickness cause that ended months ago right?

So while I was lying awake I was thinking of topics to blog about. How lame is that? Mainly I was mentally whining about the ending of some great TV shows. Yes, I am a TV-aholic.
I was upset by the fact that Chris Daughtry got voted off of American Idol. I loved him and he should have won. I think he will still make great music and we havent heard the last of him. So now my second choice, Kat, better win.


Other shows I like are ending for good this season too. That 70's Show is one good one. I really like those kids and after tomorrow it will be reruns only for the next 10 years. I just dont get why Topher left the show and wont even come back for the finale.
Malcom in the Middle is gone too. I was not much of a follower of this show, but I did like the mom.

I am a big fan of the gays and I love Will and Grace. I am going to miss Will and Jack. I don't know what exactly I am hoping for on the finale of this one. I know Grace looks way hotter pregnant than I do! LOL! I dont know if I liked Leo enough to want them back together. I always hoped that Will would turn straight and be with Grace, but he is better being gay and still with Grace.

Complete sadness for the loss of the Charmed ones. I dont know how this will work out. The preview said Piper is going to go back in time to try to save Phoebe and Paige and since Leo is back she may have a chance. I dont know sometimes why the people in the TV cant hear me when I am telling them what to do. That chick that brought Leo back should have healed Phoebe and Paige right there. But why would Leo get to come back if Billie is still alive? Again with the yelling. Well I just want them all to get what they want and keep the balance and poor stupid Billie needs to get her butt really kicked. I really want Phoebe to get Coop too. He is such a hottie, she gets all the hot men. >>>>>>>> YUM.

Gray's Anatomy was crap. I am not obsessive about the MerDer drama, but the way McDreamy and Finn were calling her name at the end and she just looked at them and didnt do anything was crap. And if they really killed off Denny and Izzy is really quitting then I probly wont watch the whole next season. But I do think that Izzy should get all the same awards that Sandra Oh got for her acting this season.

I will look forward to the return of Earl and Scrubs and ER. I hope ER never goes away. It is my favorite. And Nip/Tuck will be back in September. I hate all the rumors about that show. I never know what to believe, but I will watch it anyway and hope it stays on. I like Law and Order SVU but if Olivia/Mariska is gone it may get boring for me. I will watch Medium again if it comes back, and The Closer. I loved Joey and Related and they both are gone with no warning. There better be some fantastic shows starting that will be as great as those we have lost. No one will ever replace the Charmed ones or Will, but the networks better try!

Well now I look like a total lazy ass TV addict, but I do Tivo a lot and watch when I am not busy with my son. So time to go watch reruns of Friends er, make supper. :P

Happy Birthday to me

I think I am going back to being 22 today. Not that I am that much older, but I think 22 was good so I wanna do it again.

I went and celebrated National Scrapbook Day on Saturday. Tons of fun. I met lots of nice ladies and won some cool door prizes. I got the Basic Grey Notch and Die tool and I am learning how to do stuff with it. I took a class and made a tag and a card, then stayed for the crop, but I ended up leaving early cause I got tired and my back was killing me from those chairs.

To celebrate being 22 again, I think we are going to go eat at Famous Dave's tonight and maybe go see a movie if there is one that Aidan will watch. Sorry I dont have much interesting to say today, maybe later!

Cinco De Mayo

Today started pretty early for me. I was up and at the doctor office at 830am. Got my 3 hour Glucose test done. That sucked, let me tell you. Getting poked in the arm every hour for 3 hours, resulting in 4 holes in my arms. I look like a junkie. My first glucose test I failed by only 9 points, so this one better be a passing score cause I am not a fan of diabetic diets. I need my sugar.

Looking forward to my scrapbook day tomorrow. I have to find some cute PJs to wear to the PJ party crop. I am not finding anything in my closet that is publicly wearable and that kinda covers my scar. I'm still not comfortable sharing my neck with the public. And no one so far has been able to talk me into wearing a scarf/bandanna/anything really around my neck. Today was the first day I even put on a necklace since the surgery. If you have known me in the last 6-7 years, I am usually always wearing my K-state powercat necklace and I havent worn it in a month now and that is not normal.

I am kinda skeptical on how I will feel being in a scrapbook store for 12 hours straight tomorrow. Hopefully I can keep my energy level up somehow. Dang, you never know how much you'd miss your thyroid until its gone. Some days I just feel sooo very lazy. Getting off the couch to pee feels like a marathon. By 9pm I am just exhausted and want to go to bed.

I had my mexican meal today for lunch at the local restaurant. No pitcher of margaritas this year though. I also dont get a pitcher of margaritas for my birthday on tuesday either. Ah the things you miss while you are pregnant. I did celebrate by having a Dr Pepper today though. I thought I earned that by giving so much blood away today, plus, its a special occasion.

I must have been mexican in my past life, that might explain my love of mexican food and margaritas.

Sharing

Here is my belly pic for May. Lookin large.

Here is my little funny man showing his belly too. He was really pushing it out there.

And here is a layout that I just did this week. I love the Basic Grey papers.

MAY

I love May. I think that this is my favorite month of the year. If it werent for all the doctor's appointments ruining it this year I would be in a great mood. National Scrapbook Day, my birthday, and Mother's Day all in the first two weeks.

I am going to a class and a crop on Saturday for Scrapbook Day. I hope I can find some way to make my incision look not so ugly for the day so I can be comfortable in public. Too bad its not turtleneck weather.
AHHHHAH!! Isnt it ugly?

I have been thinking a lot about the baby lately. We really have nothing ready for this baby yet. We barely figured out if we want to spell his name Aric or Arik. Either way, he will probably have nothing but diapers to wear the rest of the summer.

I have done the registry thing and I know what all we need, but its just too much for me to get out to shop. I totally have no energy for that. We just need to start getting what we can everytime we go to get groceries at WalMart, which I try to avoid for the same reason. I wish we had the money to just order it all online.

Check out the pretty flowers everyone sent while I was in the hospital and recovering. They are so pretty and smell so good. I havent sneezed as much because of them as I thought I would either.

Thank you everyone for the flowers and the supporitve thoughts! I am feeling better and I appreciate all your prayers.

Rock bottom???

I think things just have really gotten to me today. The shock of having cancer and the disappointment of knowing that breastfeeding may not work out well this time is really setting in and I am on the brink of bawling today.

Then I am woken up by the OBGYN office calling to say that my glucose levels were a little high so I have to come in for the 3 hour test on friday. I was worried about not gaining enough weight and having high blood pressure, but now I have to add diabetes to the list.

I cant decide if I never want to be pregnant again because of everything that has gone wrong this time, or if I will consider myself invincible and be able to have many more babies just cause everything is going wrong this time so the rest should be perfect.

Everyone has been saying how strong I am to handle all this at once. I had the surgery without a second thought and I am taking all the meds they want and eating as well as I ever have. I am resting a lot and following all the doctors orders to a T. I dont know what else to do to have a healthy pregnancy. Why does everything have to go crappy for me. I know I should be greatful that its the way it is because so many other women have had it a lot worse and it could get even worse for me, but I just want to make sure one thing is better completely before something else goes wrong. I barely got my stitches out last week and then gestational diabetes rears its ugly head. Its not 100% certain yet, but it just adds to my frustration.

Sorry, I just needed to vent.

Random thought

I am making The Best Meat Loaf Ever for supper tonight. I just felt a little spit of energy and managed to complete the task of mixing it all together and putting it in the oven. I did have a little craving for it that motivated the energy. DH has been so good at cooking supper and lunch since I have been operated upon. I thought a little break would be good for him. We have eaten take out enough in the last week too though. This may be the be the beginning of me getting back into my role as housewife/supermom.

My little angel comes home in 2 days! Yay! I can't wait to see him and be exhausted by him again. I miss his little hugs and kisses and even the way his genius eyes roll when I annoy him.

Wish I was creative enough to think of a title

Anyway, I saw the endocrinologist yesterday. Another 2 grand out the window. I guess the only thing I got out of this appointment was the knowledge that I will have to do the radioactive iodine within 4 weeks of giving birth. And he put me back on the synthroid so hopefully I will start having some energy again.

Went to the ENT and she took my stitches out and gave me a gross picture of my thyroid that was taken during surgery. When she said it was 8cm, I really didnt think that sounded too big, but it looked like a good 6 inches of bright red steak...coming out of a slit in my throat. Graphic arent I?

Also saw the OB today and got my glucose test done. Now to wait for those results. I doubt anything else will go wrong, but I could be mistaken. My midwife is confident that she and the lactose consultant on their staff can help me thru my radioactive time and I will be able to breastfeed the new baby. Sure pumping and dumping for 2 weeks is not discouraging to anyone right? I dont want to go into my breastfeeding rant right now. I want to do it, so I am going to try and if I get pushed away in favor of a bottle, then so be it. It wont be my choice, it will be the baby's.

A little bit of Thankful Thursday for you: I am thankful that I got a nap today after my appointments. I needed some down time. I am also thankful the stitches are out and my incision doesnt itch so bad.

DH and I went to the local video store and opened an account. Just so we could rent some PS2 games cause we were bored. So I have been playing some Harry Potter just to get away from watching TV shows that upset me or bore me. I watched Dateline's Internet Pedophile Predators last night and was yelling at the idiots on TV. I have 3 little sisters and two of them are on the internet chatting a lot. They are 14 and 16 and I have warned them both of the dangers of too much information and how disgusting it is to have dirty conversations on the internet. Not only do you not know who you are talking to, but you dont need to hear half the crap that those dirtbags come up with. I tell them that if they ever chat with some dude who says he is 16 or whatever and that he is cute and wants to do stuff with them, just keep in mind that he could really be one of their friend's dirty grandpa or uncle. I proceed to paint a picture of the dirtiest, ugliest old guy imaginable and get them a nice mental image so that they remember it every time they open a chat window. I am told they only chat with their friends from school but I guess you never know.

New pics

Still alive...TMI

Well surgery went well apparantly. The good news is that the baby stayed perfect during the whole thing. He kept his heart rate steady despite the anesthesia in our bodies and he kept the nurses entertained by kicking me thru the surgery too.

I went in Wednesday morning bright and early at 6am. I had been called on Tuesday by the Ear Nose and Throat office because they thought my blood clotting levels were abnormal and they wanted me to come in and get rechecked. Well I was still in Kansas so that was a no go. I told them I would come in early and they could check them again before surgery, so thats what we did. I got in, put on a hideous gown and the terrible matching booties. Then they put me in a bed, took some blood and hooked up my IV. They did give me nice warm blankets to cover up with, but they didnt help me relax much.

A couple of OB nurses came and hooked me up to a monitor and listening to my baby's heartbeat up until I got into the OR was comforting. My mom and my wonderful hubby (more about his wonderfulness later) were around all day. They both waited in the waiting room and came in to see me before they wheeled me into the OR. DH made jokes about hot doctors and mom entertained/annoyed the nurses with little bits about her labor with me. Seems like we told every employee of the hospital that I was having my thyroid removed due to surgery and that I was pregnant AND that I have another baby at home. Then I told most of them that I was having a second boy and then Aidan is 3 and I will name this one Aric. If they wanted to know my bra size and how I wipe my butt, they probably would have found out.

Anyway, I was finally ready for surgery at 10 til 8. They had been giving me antibiotics thru my IV and waiting on blood results from 6am til then. I was put on a crazy skinny bed and then my arms tucked in to the blanket. I was introduced to several doctors and nurses and lord knows why cause I didnt remember any of them after. Someone made me take deep breaths of air thru this mask thing. I told her that the smell of the plastic was making me nauseaus and she said that would go away in a minute and to just take a few more deep breaths. I remember trying to keep my eyes open and looking at everyone standing there, and then I was out.

Almost 3 hours later I wake up and I am being taken to a room. I couldnt see much cause I didnt have my glasses on, but I heard DH and mom asking what room I was going to. So I get in this little room and finally wake up. I dont remember much about that first day. It comes and goes. I know they gave me shots of demerol in my thighs for pain and I really hated that. I didnt understand why they couldnt just give me something in my IV. I guess they just wanted to see if they could put me into any more pain.
I had a big bandage all around my neck and mom said there was a shit-ton of blood in my hair. DH looked really worried and I wasnt talking much or moving. I managed to shake my head yes or no and thats about it. I gave a thumbs up to DH to assure him that I was alive. They came in and kept taking blood and monitoring my vitals and the baby. I drifted in and out and mom made sure that they were on time with my pain shots. I was able to get out of bed and pee whenever I wanted to. It was like every 2 hours and it smelled weird. Apparantly they gave me a cathater and a tube down my throat and I didnt know about either one. Fine and dandy with me. I wizzed into a hat and they seemed pleased with my output.

I got a roommate who had had knee replacement surgery. If there wasnt a nurse coming in the room to bug me, there was one coming in to bug her and it bugged me. She snored too so I had terrible sleep those two nights. I threw up twice due to the pain and medications. It seemed crazy to me cause I had absolutely nothing in my stomache to puke, but nonetheless, stuff came up.
Thursday morning one of my OBs came in and said he was happy to hear that everything went well so far and that he didnt have to see my baby yet. Then my ENT came in and cleaned my incision and removed the drain she put in. She said that she removed my whole thyroid gland. They tested it and it was papillary with follilicular carcinoma. Basically that means I have both kinds of well-differentiated cancers of the thyroid and both are the "best kinds to have" if you have to have a cancer in your thyroid cause they are easiest to treat. There were no other signs of cancer being spread to my lymph nodes or throat or further.
Then she said she was concerned because my hemoglobin was low and so was my calcium level. So I had to stay in the hospital to get those under control. I was also kept on antibiotics to prevent infection. They put in a 2nd IV to run calcium thru and on top of that they made me drink little potassium and calcium drinks that are more disgusting than you would think a vitamin drink would be. I had my choice of mixing with apple or cranberry juice and cranberry seemed to taste slightly better, but I just chugged it down to get it over with. I took all my pills and drinks and tried my best to eat as much as I could the whole day. All that calcium they were giving me made me have to pee every hour. I am betting that this baby never has a broken bone in his life because of all the vitamins I had those 2 days.

They let me go home on Friday after the last blood test showed that my hemoglobin was good and that my calcium hadnt gone down any. It was at 7.1 and the last test showed 7.2 so they let me go. As soon as they said I was okay to go, I went. They said no hurry and it was right after lunch and as soon as I was done eating I called for my wheel chair and mom and DH had me all packed and we were out of there. I went home and crashed in silence with no annoying nurses. My mom cleaned a little and then she left on Saturday morning. I am on calcium supplements and more antibiotics. The calcium supplements are needed because the parathyroid glands somehow are involved with the body's ability to process calcium. I had always thought we mainly need calcium for strong teeth and bones, but apparently a shortage of calcium can lead to seizures and numbness, in the span of a single day. I also take my prenatal vitamin and a colace and tylenol 3. I think I take over 20 pills a day and I will be glad when that is over.

I have just been dragging around since I got home. DH is a saint. He keeps my icepack full and brings me my meds when its time and always makes sure I have enough to drink and eat at all times. He is off work all week to take care of me. Aidan will be back this weekend from his grandmas. He called me tonight and was crying saying he wanted mommy. Such a heartbreak to know that he misses me, but I will see him in a few days and I reassured him of that.

Sometime after the baby is born, I'll be given radio-tagged iodine. Any thyroid cells that are left in my body -- including thyroid cancer cells that were spread elsewhere -- will light up under a scan. If any do -- and they almost always do in the first scan after an operation -- they'll give me a dose of slightly more radioactive iodine. The thyroid cells will suck up this iodine and blow themselves to kingdom come. (Thyroid cells absorb iodine, an ability passed on to cancerous thyroid cells, and an ability that makes thyroids uniquely treatable for cancer.) After about a day or two, I'll pass this iodine out of my system and out into the sewers, and everyone will be happy.

I am not real happy about the radioactive iodine thing. I talk with the endocrinologist today and see what he says about it. I want to be able to breastfeed as much as I can so I am going to see how soon this NEEDS to be done. And since I wont be able to be around my babies or my husband until I am less radioactive, I want to be able to have bonded and done the newborn stuff before he has to be away from me. Breastfeeding is the most important though. Well besides my health, but you know.

Well I didnt realize I had written a book already. I want to send a shout out to all those who were praying for me and kept me in their thoughts. You are all much appreciated and I really am greatful for your support thru everything.
I have a picture of my incision and my flowers from the hospital...and some family/spring pictures we had taken before the surgery(Like the one above). I will try to get those posted later today after my appointment if I am not too exhausted when I get back.

Going under the knife...

I will be going back to Kansas tonight to spend Easter with my dad and then my mom and I will drive back to Illinois together on Tuesday.

My surgery is bright and early Wednesday morning. I have had all my pretests and got poked by two dumb nurses. I always tell those morons that they have to use a butterfly needle cause I have small veins and they move. But the first nurse couldnt get it on the first stick so she called in "biggest lady I've ever seen!" to try. She used a giant needle and left a huge bruise. She was big so she had to leave her big mark on everything apparantly.

Anyways, the anesthesiologist gave me the rundown on the drugs I would get during surgery. I will have gas to put me under and then they have to put a tube in my throat to help me breathe. Then they will take 2 hours to do the surgery. They are going to take my whole thyroid out. Hopefully there wont be any spread of the cancer and they can get everything.

There is a risk of premature labor. I am only 26 weeks so we need baby to stay in there a while longer.

I am already started on synthroid, a thyroid replacement drug. We'll see how this makes me feel the next few days until the surgery. But I will have to take this pill everyday for the rest of my life. I really hate that fact.

Well anyway, I will post again when I get home from the hospital.

Happy Easter!!

Aidan's birth story

I decided to post this because soon I will have another birth story and I want to see how they compare. It was 3 years ago, but lets see if I can remember all of it. LOL

I was due on the 18th, but nothing happened all day that day. I was living with my mom at the time and we lived out in the country about 30 minutes away from my hospital. Plus it was February and we were expecting snow. I was so uncomfortable and I really wanted to have Aidan out. I walked and ate and then just gave up and went to bed. Around 11 that night, I started getting braxton hicks contractions. They were irregular and I had had pleanty of them in the last few months so I was used to them. I just laid in bed and kept timing them so that if they got to a regular 10 minutes apart, then we would leave for the hospital. I timed them until 2am and they were 15-18 minutes apart and none of them hurt.

Well I fell asleep and woke up fine the next morning. I had an appointment at 8:30 so we left the house early and got McDonalds and then stopped by mom's work office to tell them she was going to be late. We went into the doctors office and he checked me and I was 2 cm dialated and he decided that I could go that day. He stripped my membranes, which is very uncool. I felt like he was testing my tonsils through the wrong end. Then he sent me over to the L&D. When I got all checked in, we called my DH, who was then just my BF. We told him not to hurry cause it was probly going to take a while.

They hooked me up to a belt to watch for contrax and monitor baby's HB. The nurses came in around 11am and said that I should try walking around or whatever I could to get my contractions going stronger and more. So I walked around the floor. There were no babies in the nursery to look at. There was another girl having a baby in the room next to mine. The funny thing is that the night before, I went to my first childbirthing class. I had to work when they had the first round of classes and the second round started on my due date, but the lady teaching the classes was the mom of one of my high school friends and she said I had to come if I hadnt already had the baby. We watched all the videos and saw all the contraptions that could be used. Then we took a tour of the mommy floor. The room they had open to show us was the exact same room I was in for my labor. It was a great room with a fold out couch and recliners and a jaccuzi tub.

Well after my uneventful walk, I decided to take a dip in the ol jaccuzi. I mean how often do you get to have a great bath? I sat in there for about an hour. Then the nurse checked me again and I was at 4 cm. At about 5pm DH was there and had told all of his family so they were all showing up too. The contrax were starting to hurt a little so they hooked me up to an IV and gave me a little pain shot along with some Pitocin. At about 6pm I was only 5cm so the doc came in and broke my water and then the pain really got worse. So mom got me the nice epidural man. She was totally flirting with him and I was in tons of pain, but he got the job done and then I wanted to flirt with him. That was at about 8pm.

So the epidural really helped me relax and I got to 10cm at about 10:30pm. I had my mom on one side and DH on the other side holding up my legs and I pushed for almost an hour. They had to give me an episiotomy cause the doc said it would help him come out. He finally came out at 11:28 pm. They laid him on my stomach for a few minutes while mom and DH decided who was going to cut the cord and finally my mom did it. Then the nurse took him and held him upside down and measured him and wrapped him up.

There was a student doctor in with my doctor and she stitched me up. She was doing the stitches and the doc and nurses were watching and she says, "How's that?" and the doc said, "It looks beautiful." And I was like, "Yeah frickin fabuolus crotch isn't it? Can I have my baby now?" and everyone laughed at me and then finally gave me my baby back. He weighed 7lbs and 9oz and was 20.5inches long. The doc said that my son was, "hung like an italian stallion." That is something I needed to know about my just born son. Then my doc asked if I wanted him circumsized and I said yes and he said he would be back to check on me tomorrow, and he left.

I know I will definitely get another epidural this time. I dont know if there was anything that I hated about the delivery. I think having a really great student doc do my stitches was a good thing cause she really was great at it. I could tell she really wanted to be a good doctor. I think maybe this time I will just have DH and my sister in the room with me cause DH really didnt like being pushed around by my mom. She basically made herself first in line for everything and he felt like a third wheel. He is definitely going to be more ready for everything this time.

Case of the Monday's

I think out of 100%, I only like being pregnant about 20%. After the morning sickness and the overall fatigue and moodiness, I think the only good thing is feeling the baby and the excitement. The waiting and the stress of worry and picking a name, does not make things easier.

I was sick last night and I am not sure if its any better yet. I totally lost all the supper I ate. I made good spaghetti last night too and it all frickin came back up. I dont think it was a morning sickness thing either. I did throw up a pop tart the other morning, but aside from that I haven't had morning sickness for over a month. You would think that I would be over that phase since I am 6 months pregnant.

I wish something tasted good, or sounded good. I think ice cream is about all I really ever want.

I have 3 days of appointments starting tomorrow. A physical, a meeting with an endocrinologist and pre surgery tests. As usual, I am not fond of getting stuck with needles and I do not look forward to hours of waiting rooms.

This weekend we are going back to Kansas for Easter. We always have lots of family to see when we go back. I wish they all would just come to us, but that never happens. Then I am going to drive back with my mom Tuesday night so she can be here while I have the surgery. If I dont drive back with her, I am sure she will come anyway, but she just doesnt want to get lost. And its not like I have anything to do those two days anyway. If I were home, I would just lay on the couch all day and drive my self crazy with trying to clean everything.

Surgery planned

I went to the Ear Nose and Throat doc today. She did a vocal cord test which was as bad as getting a pap smear. They numb the back of your throat and clear out your nose and then stick the camera tube thru your nose and into your throat and make you talk while they watch and take pictures. My eyes were watering and my nose was runny and I looked like a big bawl baby. It was uncomfortable and annoying. But the good news is that my thyroid and the nodules are not constricting on my vocal cords or esophagus.

Well then she said that she had talked to my OB and its okay to go ahead with the surgery. They have a certain general anesthesia in mind to use for me. So we scheduled surgery for the 19th. After they cut me open they will either take just the left side, but probably the whole thyroid. Then I will have to take a pill to compensate for the thyroid hormone for the rest of my life. After I deliver the baby I will have a radioactive iodine test to see if there are any pieces of thyroid left producing hormones in there. Then I will have to get blood tests and x-rays every 6 months for the first five years to make sure there is no cancer left.

The next couple weeks are going to be so busy for me with all these sucky appointments.I have to go back to the ENT on the 11th for a history and physical. Then the Endocrinologists on the 12th to get my blood test results and another thyroid sonogram. He wants to make sure that my thyroid is definitely overactive so he knows what dose of thyroid hormone pills to give me after the surgery. The fact that it is overactive is another reason to get it out ASAP cause it is causing me to not gain as much weight as I should for the pregnancy. I am almost 7 months preg and they all think I look like 4 or 5 months. Then more blood tests and a chest x-ray at the hospital on the 13th.
Then we are going back to KS for the weekend for Easter dinners. Then surgery on the 19th.

So many sucky dr offices. I just hate taking Aidan in those places. DH gets off work and watches him most of the time so that I dont have to take him IN the appointment with me, but he really likes the waiting rooms, and the waiting rooms make me freak cause I dont want him catching something cause I really dont want any of us sick right now.

My mom plans on coming up and staying with us during the surgery cause I will have to be in the hospital for 2 days and then on bedrest for 2 weeks after. She is going to take Aidan back to KS with her when she leaves since I have to be on bedrest. They better do the surgery early in the morning cause I wont be able to eat before the surgery. They DO know that I am 25 weeks pregnant. I dont even know if I will be able to eat much after the surgery either though, depending on how much my throat hurts.

Ok enough blabbering. Now you all know the 411 on my situation. I never thought I would be 6 months pregnant and having surgery for cancer.

24 week belly

I guess I am getting bigger. 24 weeks = 6 months right??

I dont think its easy to even tell I am pregnant when I wear my normal clothes. Since its still pretty cold up here, then I still wear sweatshirts and sweaters and jeans. I can wear my fat jeans still. I usually buy low waist jeans so they do fit under my belly. I do have some maternity jeans and shirts. Most of the shirts are summery, but are cool to wear under button up sweaters.

There's a reason I cut off my head in these pictures. Its cause I have not brushed my hair today and its just in a ghetto ponytail. And I have no makeup on ever.

Maybe someday if I ever get a picture of myself looking decent, then it will get posted.

Random babbering

I am sitting around all the time watching way too much TV. It would have been nice if I could have found a nice job when we moved to IL, but no one ever called and I only got one interview. But now I am pregnant and cancerous and glad I dont have a job to put more stress on me. I love staying home with Aidan though.

He is gettting to be a little mouth. He speaks in fluent sentences and says something suprising every time we have a conversation. We have broken him of telling us "No" so much, but he has replaced it with "I dont want to" and thats harder to break cause my usual response is, "I dont care if you dont want to, do it anyway." Its great that it gives me the opportunity to say, "Because I'm the Mommy and I said so."

the color quiz

Your Existing Situation
Orderly, methodical, and self-contained. Needs the respect, recognition, and understanding of those close to him.

Here is the link if you want to take the quiz. http://www.colorquiz.com/

A-Z Meme

In true lemming fashion, I present my answers to the A-Z meme:

Accent(s): Standard clear US English. On command, I can do a perfect Dat Phan accent.

Booze of Choice: Always Amaretto. I am also quite fond of frozen margaritas.

Chore I Hate: All of them? I dont mind loading the laundry, but I hate folding it and I think dishes are my least favorite. We are lucky we have a dishwasher or we would be lost in a sea of dirty dishes.

Dog or Cat: I like dogs more than cats. I rarely ever find a cat I like. Someday we are going to get me a pomeranian and Anthony wants a husky. He really wants a wolf, but that probly wont happen.

Essential Electronics: Digital camera, cell phone. I do like my computer, but I am sure I could live without it.

Favorite perfume(s)/cologne(s): I am an Armani girl. I wear Armani Mania everyday and Anthony wears Aqua DiGio that I melt for.

Gold or silver: White gold or silver. Really just platinum preferably.

Hometown: Atchison, KS

Insomnia: Without hearing snores and worrying about Aidan falling out of bed, I could sleep great.

Job Title(s): Homemaker, receptionist, nurse-mom, chef, interior designer, event planner.

Kids: At the moment, just the one. Number two is on the way.

Living Arrangements: Overpriced 2BR apartment in the suburb of a city.

Most Admired Trait: I have no idea what trait others admire in me. I'd guess my ability to be realistic, which some appreciate and some hate.

Number of Sexual Partners: Currently? One. :)

Overnight Hospital Stays: Once for gastrointestinal problems when I was in middle school and then for giving birth to Aidan.

Phobia: moths and tragedy

Quote: "I'm 23. Thats like almost 25 which is almost 30. That is like almost middle aged!" ~Jessica Simpson

Religion: Universalist, I think. I believe there is truth to be gained from all religions, and it all boils down to "Be nice to each other."

Siblings: 3 awesome little sisters. They all are different and they are all my favorite in their own ways.

Time(s) I Wake Up: I'm nearly always awake between 7-8am, although I usually get our of bed when Aidan warrants a reason to lift my pregnant body from the warmth of the blankets.

Unusual Talent/Skill: I can spend money. My step-mom would say its a talent that I can eat a whole 16 inch sandwich, a bag of chips and a cookie in one sitting. If you have seen how small I am, you would bet that I couldnt do it.

Vegetable I Refuse To Eat: Squash.

Worst Habit(s): Listening to 80's music, rarely using a kleenex, picking my teeth

X-rays: Teeth and neck.

Yummiest Food I Make: Meatloaf, Lasagne. But if you ask DH, everything I put effort into is yummy.

Zodiac Sign: Taurus. I am stubborn, materialistic and the life of the party, when I am at home.

Newsletter

Someone made a joke that I should put out a newsletter since my life changes so quickly and people like to be updated, so here it is!
Well Anthony and I got married on December 31st and we couldnt be happier. We are loving married life, not that its much different than it was.

Aidan just turned 3 and he is smarter than a 3 year old should be. I stay home with him and we have a blast playing all day.

We are expecting another baby around July 19th this summer.The baby is probably a boy and his name will be Arik Daniel. So far this pregnancy is a lot like the last one, except for a few problems.

I got my blood tested for the pregnancy and they noticed that my thyroid levels were high, indicating an overactive thyroid. Then about 2 weeks later I got a big lump on my throat. The spot where it goes in was no longer concave like it should be. I was also really tired and losing weight, but those are also early pregnancy symptoms so it could have been overlooked if I hadnt got the blood test. Then they referred me to an Ear Nose and Throat doctor who scheduled the fine needle biopsy of the lump. The biopsy results confirmed that it was Papillary Thyroid Carcinoma. So I will have the surgery soon, I have to see an endocrinologist first and get a vocal cord test. Then I will be in the hospital for 3 days and then on bedrest for 2 weeks. It looks like the surgery might be the week after Easter. There is still a possibility that it could be a few days before, but I am going to shoot for after, if they will listen to me.

Its a very curable type of cancer. I won't have to have any chemo and the baby is completely safe. There is another test that I have to take after the surgery, but it cannot be done until after I deliver the baby. I also have to take a pill for the rest of my life to make up for not having a thyroid, but it is safe for pregnancy and nursing.

So thats about all the interesting stuff. I am dealing with everything fine and I have a very optimistic outlook. My sister Amber and >>> her little family are coming up to Illinois tonight to stay with us for their little spring break. So I had better get back to cleaning and getting everything ready for them.
Hope you enjoyed your first edition of the Arielle Newsletter!

Written Friday March 24th.

I dont know how many times I have said that I want to start a blog and then only post like once or twice and then forget about it. Well I am starting this one and hopefully I will figure out how to keep up with it. I think I will post stuff that I like and probably stuff about my kids. Soo anyway, this is me saying I will do it, but maybe it will get big and maybe not. But hey, who's gonna read it anyway?