One month

I can't believe that Superman Arik is already a month old. He changes so much every day. I think I am going to go crazy while he is gone for 2 weeks. Isnt he just adorable?!

I was just told by a nurse and a nuclear medicine tech that I will have to stop breastfeeding completely. They say they have to give me a very large dose of the iodine and that its risky to keep breastfeeding him afterward. If there is iodine left in my system and my milk then it could kill off his thyroid cells and put him at risk for thyroid cancer. Well isn't he at risk anyway because its supposed to be genetic??
So quitting cold turkey is going to be hard and painful for both of us. I have about 3 weeks worth of milk saved in the freezer for him to use, but he really likes the closeness of nursing. This is so hard for me. I can't get the endocrinologist to budge on how late I do the radiation. I keep asking if there is anyway we can do it later and he always says no. >>>Insert sad face here.

I basically put my own health in jeopardy if I wait, and its risky to keep nursing after the therapy, and cold turkey weaning is really crappy all around.

Well since both kids are napping actually, I am going to go take a mini shower! Yay for showers at 4pm!! 

Haiku of thanks

Dear sweet Genderist,
Informative sweet lady,
My very big thanks.

Ok maybe that Haiku sucks, but I hope my message is clear. I had questions about the RAI treatment and THE GENDERIST was kind enough to give me a special post on her blog to ease my mind and I just want to say thank you, and please stop by my blog anytime.

What day is it?

It seems like if I dont have some sort of doctor appointment, then I forget what day it is and I can't motivate myself to crawl out of bed until I find out that Aidan has gotten into something he shouldn't or the baby needs a diaper change. So thanks to new mommy brain combined with foggy hypothyroid brain, I havent got a chance. If I do manage to get a good day where I have a bit of energy and can carry on a conversation for more than 2 minutes with an actual adult, I usually get interrupted by a child disaster.
I'd rather not go into the details of the disaster, lets just say it involves not being potty trained and stomache aches.
So after that, I end up without any energy. I just sit in my recliner and cuddle with my newborn while yelling at Aidan and wonder what day it is.

On a super crappy note, I lost my powercat necklace. I have had this silver powercat since my senior year of high school and I wear it all the time since. I know I had it on yesterday morning, but I don't remember having to move it for the endocrinologist to feel my throat at my appointment yesterday and then I noticed it missing this morning while changing my spit-up infested shirt. I have been frantically searching the bed and apartment and laundry between yawns and breastfeeding today. I better find it before we move or I will be devastated.

I think we found an apartment we are going to rent too. We will be leaving this upscale, overpriced, snooty apartment complex and moving into a normal little, no frills, cheaper place. I admit, I am spoiled and I like having the finer things in life, but the new apartment means we will have to pay less for rent so we can start paying off bills which puts us closer to buying a house. Not that we will be buying in Illinois though cause I think DH and I have both agreed that we miss KS and would like to move back closer to our families. So the hope is that we get offered a better job in Kansas City so we can move back there eventually. The only downside I see is that I will have to find another endocrinologist and family doctor when we move back there.

We had tried to talk to our current landlords to let us stay an extra week or so, but they are snooty and would make us pay a whole months rent for the extra week, so we HAVE to move at the end of this month. Just 1 day after I get out of quarantine for my radioactive treatment. Such nice sympathetic people we pay to live here, dont you think? Whatever happened to customer service?

So since moving is immediate, DH will be staying home with me so he can pack and finalize the apartment details and signing of leases and so forth. And even though I would have liked spending time with my stepmom, she will be given the important job of caring for my sweet new baby for two weeks. I feel good about this arrangement because the other alternative of DH going back to KS with the boys included him working at the other plant and so a different family member would be watching Arik every day and I just felt really bad about having to inconvenience family. Since my stepmom works from her home computer and she wants to get back to trying to conceive with my dad, it would be ideal for her to keep Arik every day and be in the same state as her husband (for the sex part is easier that way). The thing is that my mom would like to see Arik and as you can imagine, there is awkwardness between mom, dad, and the stepmom. I hope they can all act like adults and not fight over my baby for two weeks. Do I need extra stress?

Well I do think its naptime. Aidan looks a bit sleepy so while I wait for him to pass out Maybe I can get a few chores done and fall asleep to the sound of the dishwasher...

I'm still here

I know it seems like I only blog about my kids, but thats what my life is all about right now. I love being a mommy. I never expected it to be so hard to have 2 kids. I always thought Aidan would be a sweet and wonderful big brother. He is sweet and wonderful, just not all the time. He has his tantrums and never listens to me. I am wrapped up with feeding Arik and Aidan is not getting all my attention now so he feels he has to act out and he disobeys the most when I am most indisposed. If he knows I am feeding Arik or on the phone, then its like his queue to be the worst kid on the planet. He screams or just loudly makes growling noises or yells and gets right up in Arik's face trying to scare him. Repeatedly asking him to stop or giving him time outs are not working. I need supernanny. I have mastered the art of one hand typing while breastfeeding and yelling at other kid all at the same time though.

Its like a miracle if I can get both kids and myself dressed and out of the house on any given day. Not to mention the fact that I have been without my thyroid hormones for a month now. I can hardly hold a conversation with anyone cause my brain is froggy and I just feel stupid when I cant finish a sentence.

I am having my radioactive iodine treatment starting on the 14th. Anthony will take the boys back to KS on the 17th and I will be here with my stepmom taking care of me until the 29th or so. Quarantine does not sound like a fun time. I am nervous and upset because I dont know what exactly is going to happen. Like I have no idea what the capsule is and what the process of the ablation includes. I am upset that I cannot get faster results from the hospital and the doctors. And I am most worried about my kids. I DO NOT want to be away from them for 2 weeks. How are they just gonna take a new baby away from his mommy? He needs me and I have endured the pain of natural childbirth and breastfeeding for the past 4 weeks, just for some endocrinologist to tell me that I have to do the RAI right away and that includes being no where near my baby for 2 weeks. It just hurts. I can only imagine how he will feel. I have saved up a ton of breastmilk for his time away and I am praying I can keep up my milk supply so that he can get more when I am cleared. I know that the RAI has to be done, but I am not ready to do it yet.

Well, off to the doctor office. I promise a post not about kids or thyroids soon.

pic loop

If I actually figured this out, it may be my new favorite way to share photos with you. More pics in less space, I reccommend it. And I promise a real good post by the end of the week. Just have to figure out where I can get some energy. Anyone have a thyroid they dont need? LOL!