Wednesday, March 09, 2011

I'm still here

I love to blog, I just don't think I am very good at it sometimes.
I have personal reasons for wanting to blog and I think I take it too personally when I have no comments or readers.
I need to just write what I want to write and get back into it fully for ME.

So....migraine stuff....I have a Brainstem Cavernous Angioma. It's not going to kill me or make me severely disabled, but I do get migraines. It also causes my heart to beat irregularly, my body temp hard to regulate, my pain sensations to be intensified, and my speech to be affected at times.

The hardest part of having migraines is the rollercoaster ride it takes my family on. I get very moody and tend to take it out on my husband.

It has been an interesting journey for me being a mom and a migraine sufferer. I know there are a lot of us out there. The statistics support it. But the need for support and understanding is great. People used to think that migraines were no big deal and that they were just an excuse to get out of something. Now a days, more and more doctors and employers are starting to realize that this is a real condition. It can be very serious and causes lots of people to miss work or just miss out on life.
I say this has been an interesting journey because being a parent and migraine sufferer is sometimes scary and definitely unpredictable. You never know when you wake up in the morning, if this will be the day that you get a migraine. And, not having family close by I have to try to figure out who to call to help with the kids if my husband can't leave work.
I've really learned to try to take it easy and not overdo it. Being at home all day, it is so easy to get caught up in the house work, then before I know it, I'm getting a headache. Luckily my husband realizes that the house isn't going to be perfect. Its better for me to be happy and do things I like to do when I am feeling good, than doing house work that could give me a headache.
We had a few very stressful things happen, so still recovering from my headache, trying to keep another from coming on and being worn down, made it very hard to handle to stress. Lets hope that we learn from this and try to make the effort to slow down a bit. Easier said than done.

I woke up Tuesday with a migraine. My Brother in law and sister in law had been staying with us a couple days, a grandma was in the hospital and I just had a lot on my mind and stress in my system. Then I ran out of my pain meds last night. So this morning I woke up and still felt miserable but I had to take a kid to school and run to the pharmacy obviously. So today was a long school day for Superman, so I got to lay down and relax in the quietness after I got home. Then when my husband came home for lunch, I was still asleep and I woke up a little later and was still throbbing and nauseaus. I have my own pain scale and I have been at an 8 since Tuesday morning. Then he went and picked up Superman for me and worked from home obviously, cause he didn't wake me up. I finally came around at 6:30pm and wasn't sure if it was AM or PM. Then I heard the kids downstairs so I figured it was night. Then I realized I should probably eat and just then hubby came in and said he was running to get some food. Thank goodness for him. So now I'm not tired at all.
I really wish meds like Tylenol or Aleve would work for me. I'm in the middle of trying new things with my neurologist and my general dr. is working on my thyroid levels and I have an mri next week. Hopefully I will get something that works soon. I feel like I have been saying that for 2 years now. But someday, something will work right?
I know sometimes the headaches are inevitable because they can be hormonal. So, I don't want to take things to extreme and become scared of doing things because I know I'll get a migraine. Before, I pushed myself too hard, now I am finding myself not doing good things because of the looming fear of a migraine.
I accept I have migraines, I take care of myself and do what I can to avoid triggers, but will not let these headaches control my life!
So the only plus side to getting migraines that I can think of is that I get to drink DrPepper all the time and that I get massages. Still I would give those things up for never having another migraine again.